Personal love in popular culture and sadly for most evolving people is a bit of a delusion. We seek the one person who is our soul mate, our other half, the balance for who we are. This is all such a waste of time. If your hackles are starting to go up then I’m talking to you. What I am saying is said with love but it is intended to make you grow.
This desire is very much a part of our programming, it is doomed to fail. You have been set up. Growing is not always comfortable. We sometimes have to face uncomfortable issues.
Love is our very nature and sharing it is a natural desire but the first person you need to fall in love with is you. If you don’t love your Self then how can you love anyone else?
You can spend all eternity going from one partner to another, never happy for long, never satisfied. That is what a lot of people do. They normally blame their partner, their circumstances anything but themselves but it is not hard to do something about it.
The nature of Love is inclusive. Loving your Self is prerequisite to any relationship. You need to be self sufficient in love and have an excess to give away. That creates the circumstance when you are ready to receive. Being ready requires that you need nothing in return. If you feel needy then you have some work to do. You need to recognise this in your self and do something about it.
Dependence on anyone or anything external is weakness. Even if you do find your perfect match then you may not actually enjoy the experience. They will be triggering all of your weak points continuously. That is the nature of you perfect mate. They help you to grow. They will not feed your insecurities or praise you to the skies. Love is bigger than that. They will give you unconditional love which is what the Masters do. It is not always easy or comfortable.
Your willingness to change will make you grow very fast. That can be both exhilarating and very enjoyable but it can also be uncomfortable and quite painful. If you resist at all then the changes will hurt.
Doing the groundwork on your self first is well worth the effort. You won’t need to do it later and can enjoy a more equitable loving relationship. Love will happen naturally when you are ready.
Once you love who you are then you will also love everybody else. Love grows, that is its nature. You won’t be selective. Life becomes very different. There is no duality, no them only us. It takes away all judgement and replaces it with acceptance.
That is the first step to loving your self.
Accept who you are exactly, faults and all, the dark parts as well as the light. In some ways the dark parts are more important. You don’t need to change who you are to do this. Once you accept all of you then the things that are not life supporting will tend to drop away quite naturally.
Most of our bad habits are caused by stress. External pressure is nothing compared to the pressure we put onto our selves. If you love your self then stress is very much reduced. Insecurity dissolves away. This may take a little adjustment and can take a while to master. Our daily routine can be rather ingrained and you may need to change some of it.
Loving your self means looking after your self.
Are you doing that, caring for your self in every way?
Are you leading the life that you want?
Are you happy with your day to day?
If the answer to any of these is no then you need to change something.
No it is not impossible, it just requires some creativity and often means facing your fears.
Fear is the opposite of love. If you have any fear in your self then that is the place to start. If you have a lot of fears then take them one at a time. I am not into lists I always work intuitively. I deal with what is put in front of me. What ever comes to your attention is the place to start.
Conquering it is simply a matter of identifying it, accepting it and then facing it.
How you do that is up to you. If it is too huge to face alone then ask for assistance. You have guides and mentors around you all the time. They are always the place to start when you ask for help. You will be guided. Trust them and they will help you. You will find yourself put into the right circumstances to face the fear. They will never be given anything you can’t handle. If your intention is to conquer it, then you will.
Once you have managed one, go onto the next. You will find it extremely exhilarating after the first one or two and your confidence will start to build. You will have started to love your self. Life becomes more fun.
Changing anything in your life is up to you. You can manifest anything you want. If you don’t know how that works then look here
Changing who you are is not something that happens instantly you may need to work at it for a while but it is very much worth the effort. The challenges you will face get tougher as you grow stronger. That is the nature of life. Accepting that is part of growing up.
Once you stop looking for your perfect mate, you will probably find them standing right beside you.